Ouch Honesty

Attn. Reader Things you need to know in advance: Birdie used to date Davis.

Birdie:

“Where were you on Lunch?”

Davis:

(leaning over Birdie’s cubicle) “I ran into an ex-girlfriend and we made plans to get a bite to eat.”

Birdie:

“Did you sleep with her? Is that why you’re twenty minutes late?”

Davis:

"No, no… she was never as easy as you."

Confirmations Dept.

Customer service in the corporate mindset means unlicensed therapy. Three friends in the corporate office behaved as cut throat psychiatrists. Tell the customer what they want and they will go away. That's customer service. Convince the customer that they are right. Shelly, Birdie and Davis were once regular friends. Since they have had to undergo forty hours a week in eight hour segments side by side by side by side. They are not a love triangle but a war zone. Old friends make for the worst Nemeses.

Alias

Beulah hated her Christian name, so she kept it a secret and called herself Birdie. She has a long term boyfriend but her only real friends are Davis and Sheldon. Sometimes Birdie imagined her superiors in drag. Sometimes she imagined she was a young Audrey Hepburn. But mostly Birdie was happy with simple things, like those that reflect light, or articles in Pink or reruns of S. I. T. C. When Birdie felt spunky, she wore jeans over her naked bum.

Shelly's Heart. Heart Shelly.

Shelly is short for Sheldon, and Sheldon was a short young man. He had a terrific sense of humour, and he claimed that he never had a night dream until he heard Elton John. Sheldon's cubicle was adjacent to Davis. Shelly was a good soul, but he ate paste while he was young, and though he's given up eating them sometimes he smells adhesives for kicks.

A new sight

On funny shirt Friday Davis decided to be ironic. The back of his shirt read:

Don't worry be Happy.

The irony was that Davis was miserable. His most enthusisastic moment between work and play and work and play was the few instances when Birdie wore jeans with no undergarments. Davis was inspired by clevage either here or there.